Tea & Sympathy
05 September 2011
Quiet. I long for quiet sometimes. You know, just to think and be.. with a big cup of tea for the cold rainy days like today.
But when I do have the time to myself, I am clueless what to do with it. I know, it's ironic isn't it? It just seems so new and different, and then I long for the rush of having to do something. I nap mostly when this happens.
Being a parent is a full-time job. Staying at home to take care of Maya is a joy I find very rewarding. It's not like I have many other interesting things to do anyway, but that's beside the point. Just.. there are times when I wish I could get away from it all even for a day. You know, to find myself in the midst of my everyday life because it's easy to get lost in the mundane of responsibilities and chores and whatever things that keep one busy. I am still learning to find that balance.
I am thankful, though, that Mike is a very hands-on Dad. When he gets home from work, he spends time with her so I can maybe cook or take a break. Sometimes I just watch them play together. It's one of those moments I wish I could capture what I see and feel. Pictures and videos simply don't give it justice, so I enjoy those moments as much as I can. Every time I hear and see them laugh at their own silly games, I feel my heart squeeze.. like tiny little hearts bursting out of my heart. That's what I feel. Some days it makes me tearful because it's too beautiful not to be touched by it. Other days, I join in and laugh with them. I like being a spectator in their father-daughter bonding.
Having Maya has changed my life. Incredibly. She brings me joy, a sense of purpose and being, and so much love I never thought I could possibly feel. It's been a crazy beautiful year and half - and I wouldn't change any of it. Ok, who am I kidding? I wish her sleeping habits were different. I hope it would improve, but we're working on that. Hello, first time parents and all!
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