Expanding my horizons
20 October 2010 I have been living here in Rotterdam for six years now, but I never really went somewhere by myself that I haven't been before yet. I guess you can attribute it to my fear of getting lost, as I am directionally-challenged, in a country where English isn't the first language. Gone were the days where I lived a spontaneous and daring I-can-conquer-the-world lifestyle; when I trusted people easily and saw the world with different eyes. I rarely venture out by myself when I am not familiar with the place but, now that I am a mother, I am beginning to learn to be more independent for Maya's sake.So, yesterday, was a day of many firsts for me and Maya. Firstly, we went to the Mom & Tots group we have recently joined. We made quite a few friends and are looking forward to seeing them again next week. I think it was just the right time to expose Maya in the company of other children as she is now more aware of her surroundings and can somehow communicate clearly what she wants, while I got to hone my rusty social skills to my new acquaintances. It helps that everyone there speaks English. I feel more at ease than if it was in Dutch.
Secondly, I have never been out alone with Maya outside our home for more than two hours, much less to a place that's 45 minutes away. To say that I'm proud of myself is an understatement. It was an accomplishment! It is much easier for me to take Maya out now that she is used to her buggy again and I can distract her without picking her up when she cries. But she didn't cry at all yesterday! She was all smiles and giggles, and slept without any fuss when she was tired. She was a doll!
I, on the other hand, was socially awkward when I interacted with the other moms there. They were a welcoming and friendly bunch, no doubt about that. It's just that I haven't really met new people lately without Mike as a buffer. It threw me for a loop... having to be social to people I don't know. Most of the women there already knew each other and were a bit older than me so I mostly observed when I wasn't watching Maya play or when no one was talking to me. It made me realize how my life is severely lacking, socially-speaking. I suddenly felt the overwhelming need to make new friends and get out more; to venture outside of my comfort zone and see the world out there, because I feel like I didn't grow at all. You could say that I've practically lived under a rock the past few years. It's time for me to spread my wings, so to speak. And having Maya is giving me the courage to do just that, because I want to be a better person for myself and for her.
Jess at October 21 2010 | 19:23 |
Good for you! It's not easy to put yourself out there, meet new people, and get out of your 'comfort zone'.  |
Josh at October 21 2010 | 19:23 |
| I'm so proud for you Gracey! Way to go and keep up the good work! *hugs*. |
